And then he came!

A new baby boy, after a week of starting and stopping to go into labor, my roommate finally had her baby.
He is so cute!
But we still don't know his name
I would put up a picture, but i'm not sure if he's ready to be famous yet. He is only 2 1/2 days old!!

Waiting for a baby to come...

when i moved to portland, i got lucky.
i found a house with amazing people living in it. i didn't know them before i came here. i didn't know anyone who knew them. but they welcomed me with pancakes and maple syrup.
I don't think i realized that Marissa was 5 months pregnant until she told me a few days after i arrived. Since then, her belly's gotten bigger and bigger, and riding a bike around town, with her 4 1/2 year old daughter, Innana, hasn't been an option for a couple months.
3 days ago, I went to my friends' house to spend the night...she could feel the baby was on its way. She is having a home birth, so she wanted some privacy, just Ian (the papa), the midwives, and one or two other close friends. The next morning, I got a call from Ian: "no baby yet, you can come home if you want". So i came home to delicious breakfast tacos. After I devoured those tacos, Marissa said her water broke. Okay, now the baby's really coming. So I went back to my friends' house to spend the night, knowing tonight was the night. I went to work the next day, anticipating a call any minute saying the baby had arrived. After work, I rode by the house, just to see if anyone was outside. Ian was on the roof, sitting in the sun. "Ian?" I asked, expectantly. "Still no baby yet".
But Marissa went to get acupuncture that morning, which is a known effective method of inducing labor. So a few hours later, the contractions were getting closer together, so I got out of the house, to spend the night at a different friend's house. Again, I knew, this would be the night. She had a dream about a month ago that the baby was going to come on the 24th in the nighttime, and it was going to be a boy. So last night was the 24th. And I'm still waiting for a phone call, wondering,
did the baby come?
is it a boy?
how tiny is he really?
what is his name?
what does his voice sound like?

and for the first time, really understanding what a blessing it is going to be to be so close to one so new, and watch him grow.

so i wait and wait and wait for a phone call.
so i can go meet my new roommate.

Proud to be white???

What would you do if your boss sent you an e-mail with the subject "Proud To Be White".
When you first see this subject, you just hope it's not what you think it is. But you open the e-mail, and right away it starts:

This e-mail is very true...It shows how far our laws have come in making us feel ashamed for being of european culture...It certainly is not what the declaration of independence stood for or the U. S. constitution...

Sad, but very true...

Then there is a picture of a cowboy.

What follows is a disgustingly ignorant tirade complaining about the unfairness that exists in our country...and the author is not talking about institutional racism or white privilege, but that white people are the brunt of a number of racist slurs including "cracker" and "honky", that black people are allowed to march for their race and rights, proclaiming their pride, but if "we" (i.e. white people) wanted to do that, we'd be called racist; that there are so many college scholarships specifically for only people of color, but if there were certain college scholarships for only white people, that would be racist....
The author asks, why can't we have a white history month?
why can't we have a white entertainment television channel?

and there is more, but i will spare you.

It ends by saying, "there is nothing improper about this e-mail. Let's see which of you are proud enough to send it on"


I am trying to find a way to communicate to my boss all the fallacies running rampant throughout this e-mail. Luckily, after talking to him about it, I can see that although he believes the ideas, he is not coming from a place of anger or hatred. Unfortunately, he is coming from a place of extremely stubborn ignorance. So when i speak of white privilege, he tells me how his father, a white man, worked so hard through the great depression, for almost no money, to bring himself and his family up out of poverty... it was not privilege that got him through this, but his own hard work. but what he doesn't think of is that what if his father was black? would he have even been able to get that low-paying job? probably not.

One thing that has been helpful in learning how to communicate about white privelege is this white privelege checklist: unpacking the invisible knapsack.... here are a few from the list: if you find these statements to be true, you have white privelege:

I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.

When I am told about our national heritage or about "civilization," I am shown that people of my color made it what it is.

I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their race.

I do not have to educate my children to be aware of systemic racism for their own daily physical protection.

I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race.

I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to the "person in charge", I will be facing a person of my race.

I am not made acutely aware that my shape, bearing or body odor will be taken as a reflection on my race.

I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having my co-workers on the job suspect that I got it because of my race.

I can easily find academic courses and institutions which give attention only to people of my race.

I can chose blemish cover or bandages in "flesh" color and have them more or less match my skin.


There are many more examples... And the point is that if you are white, you have to be intentional in noticing these things. They are not always in your face. But people who are not white cannot ignore these things.
It's hard for me to believe that the author of this white pride e-mail did not notice that when you turn on the television, most of the people on the screen are white, unless you're watching one of the few sitcoms about african-americans...are there even any shows with predominantly asian-americans or latinos? I don't know because I rarely watch tv.

And none of this even takes into account the institutional racism that exists in this country. I did some research.
In 1964, 2/3 of the people in prison were white.
In 1994, 2/3 of the people in prison were african american and latino
what happened?
The rate of African American crime has not changed significantly in the past 25 years.
60% of violent crime is commited by white people
only 23% of the people in prison for committing violent crime are white
74% of illegal narcotics users are white
only 10% of the people in prison for using illegal narcotics are white

So the numbers speak for themselves. I am about to e-mail this information to my boss, but i fear that he will have some way of brushing it off. Because our justice system is based on fairness and justice. These numbers must be wrong.

I just found a great article by Tim Wise, "Explaining White Privilege to the Deniers and the Haters" http://www.redroom.com/blog/tim-wise/explaining-white-privilege-deniers-and-haters

I know i cannot expect to change anyone's mind, but the least of my responsibilities is to speak my disagreement and disapproval, and do my best to provide information that may in some way educate and enlighten others. I appreciate the people who have dedicated a lot of their time and energy to articulating these issues.

a poor little mousie has lost her ear
but never fear
she's made of wool
sebastian's no fool
he wants to find
what's hidden inside


this little boy is one of my new friends here
two days a week, we go to parks and playgroups,
he's about 17 months old now
and as you can see, he's as happy as can be


before the end of this month, there will be a new roommate living in my house:
an itty bitty baby!
so altogether, we're gonna be a mama, a papa, a big sister, a baby, a thimble, and me -- oh!
and of course! a kitty
one big happy family

so other than that,
i got the garlic planted before halloween...
i voted for obama...
and the season has begun when i wear more layers than i can count
and i've got fenders on my bike